Happy July everyone!
It’s been a while since my last post and for those who are following me may have been wondering, “Wil, where’s the consistency? What have you been up to?” The real answer is, LIVING!
I love writing, not just blogging; however, I can’t write much if I’m not living anything to write about. I have been dealing with many internal disputes in my life that I laugh off or refuse to really confront: the “value” I hold in my friends’ lives, the level of responsibility I hold in my household, the ability to love who I see in the mirror, deaths in the family, and being really effective while wanting to have careers in different avenues. I have taken time away from blogging to enjoy my friends, help friends make wedding wishes come to life, and really mapping out what some of my upcoming months will be looking like.
In my opinion, in order to effectively help others intentionally, I must have my ish together a lot of the time. My full-time job, counseling, requires that I do not allow what’s happening in my personal life to transfer on to people I advise. And plus, I function better when I’m more in sync with myself in all aspects.
So I’m gonna leave Y’all with some of the thoughts and ideas that were here already but actually helping me to live my best life for now:
My Overall Self
- PLAN, PLAN, PLAN! – I can’t tell you how many times I mentally jot down things and forget them, even super important thoughts! Whatever success looks like to you is your prerogative. How can that success last long though without a plan? Whether it’s day-to-day, week-to-week, month-to-month, 1-year, 5-years, etc., it’s better to have something written/typed to follow in order to fully be aware that you are following the steps best for you.
- PRAYER! – Yes, conversations with a being I cannot see does help me! I am aware that the human body can accomplish a whole lot, especially with exercise, right food/vitamin intake, and the midset. I am aware though, that I am full of limitations and so are my friends so when I need a boost, I go to God in prayer.
- REST! – I don’t know how these celebs and other aspiring people stay up day in and day out to accomplish their goals, but I need rest! Whether it be a staycation, sleep, mini vacation with friends, I need some type of self-care to feel human every day!
Dealing With People
- Everyone does not need to know everything. – There are so many reasons why not everyone needs to know everything about your life. Particularly for me, I’m realizing, everyone will not understand, support, or help where needed.
- Do find “your tribe.” – As much as I would love to have “my person” who can I tell literally everything to, I don’t. However, I have learned who to go to for help, laughs, and exchange of ideas when appropriate.
- Do what you can for people; even when you know recognition won’t come. – With some of my friends, I like to quietly categorize myself as the “sometimes Y” friend. If you don’t know, the letter “y” is sometimes considered a vowel, but that does not make it less of a letter in the alphabet. Same with my friends, I may do a lot, but I am in the background mostly. I’m starting to be okay with that position.
- Sometimes, it’s what you say; but mostly, it’s how you say it. – I consider myself a realist but me being me, I say things exactly the way it comes out of my head. For some, it may come off pessimistic or cynical. Your advice won’t be helpful if that’s how your friends view you.
- If people don’t ask for advice, don’t give it. – I like to vent and so do some of my friends. Most of the time, venting does not help me get anywhere but brew those angered up feelings again. Me realizing that about myself, I try to advise my friends when they never asked for my help, which can leave them feeling judged or put down (never my intention of course!) So learning to be a listening ear is something I’ve been practicing. If there is a need to ask a question, I tend to ask what do they need from me as a friend and take it from there.
I can write many more, but I’ll leave you with these. I hope you can take some of these words and apply it to your life. If you have some helpful tips that help you in your overall life, please do share! Until next time, peace!